The Tale of the New People and the Windows Key

Once upon a time there existed a  lab on a mountain (a lab skilled in the ways of cognitive science). The lab was replete with life; buoyant parties, spontaneous (and often recurrent) challenges, pathological gaming,  and copious consumptions of caffeinated commodities. One day many years ago, the Chieftain of the lab noticed a problem, a very serious and detrimental problem to the labs health: the pernicious Windows Key. You see, while most keys unlock treasure, the Windows key did not – in fact its sole purpose was to prevent the hunt at all.

The cunning Key lured its victims into its trap by always staying in immediate proximity to its nemesis: the always outstretching Space Bar. You see Space Bar was very long, so long that when one would engage in contact with Space Bar he often did not extend his handshake carefully – he assumed the length of Space Bar would guarantee connection. Yet that guarantee was an illusion, and Windows Key knew it. By staying close to the edge of Space Bar, Windows Key knew he could hijack those misplaced handshakes, and once connection was made, his victim would be dead in his tracks.

Windows Key tormented the lab for years, many attempts were made to sever its handshake-hijacking abilities, but none succeeded. Until one day, the Chieftain decided to bring in the New People. . .

With their varied background knowledge, the New People quickly merged into a cohesive, problem solving units. They used their combined intellect to analyze the behaviour of Windows Keys, discover its language of communication, and finally implemented a program to shut it down.

Space Bar and the lab were overjoyed, and will forever be indebted to the New People.  

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